Time and Time Again

Many of my posts lately have been sad and depressing. Everything in me wants to stop doing that and offer up some uplifting, fun posts…. yet I keep having to remind myself of why I started this blog to begin with.

Years ago, when I first started exploring the idea of having a blog, I never really knew why I wanted to make one. I mean, I wanted to entertain I suppose, I wanted a following… but I realized quickly that I didn’t have anything to say.

I wrote my first fictional story worth publishing when I was 15, I called it “The Question”. It was about a woman who really loved her boyfriend, but she was afraid that he was starting to fall out of love with her. After a while she realized that wasn’t the case and the story ends on a happy note. It’s kind of a cheesy story, but that was the most creative writing I’d ever done at the time and it’s not bad.

Point being, I had something to say once in a blue moon and I didn’t have enough life experience to write much as a 15 year old. For about 4 years, I’ve been trying to develop my “why” for starting a blog. I’ve tried tons of different websites, I’ve designed countless blogs, but I just couldn’t consistently produce blog posts.

My whole life I’ve always needed to know why. I used to take things apart and put them back together because I wanted to know why they worked. When learning mathematics, I can’t use formulas unless I know why they work. I was never much of a sports person. When I was introduced to sports in elementary school, my coach didn’t tell me why the points system worked. He didn’t tell me why the rules were what they were, I didn’t know why the games worked.

It’s been the same with blogging. I’ve tried to start blogs time and time again, but they didn’t stick until I figured out my why:

To show people the honest truth about my struggles and my achievements. To provide a refreshingly real story that people can relate to. To show people they’re not alone. To encourage others not to be afraid of being real, of being human.

I want this blog to be honest. I want to show my humanity, rather than being fake. Through this honesty, I hope to inspire someone to be brave, to step out of their comfort zone, to take risks, to let themselves be who they are.

This policy of honesty, will cause there to be many sad and depressing posts. Life is hard, life is really hard and I want to show that. Life is also beautiful, amidst all the chaos and pain, there is happiness and love. I thought of apologizing for all the negativity in some of my posts, but I reminded myself why I’m doing this. I realized that right now, I’m going through a difficult season and my posts will reflect that. Soon there will be good and joyful things to write about and I look forward to that day, but I’m okay with waiting. God will always come around, no matter how hard it gets, it will always get better.

Will you join me on this journey?

I pray that we learn and grow together, as fellow brothers and sisters on this wonderful planet.

Until next time.

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