Disclaimer: This is a very honest post.
It’s been really rough season for me. About a month ago or more I was diagnosed with Fibromyagia. It wasn’t surprising, I’ve had symptoms since I was 5 or 6. I’d been suspecting Fibro for a year or so, but getting diagnosed had a bigger effect on me than I expected.
For about 3 weeks after getting diagnosed, I had a constant flare up. I had high sensitivity to touch, increased muscle aches, migraines, fatigue, difficulty focusing, and muscle spasms. I have all of those listed symptoms 24/7, but during that flare up they were substantially worse than normal.
I have a very high pain tolerance, since I’ve had to deal with constant pain since I was very young. However, regardless of that fact… I am terrified of pain.
A couple days ago I had severe back pain in my left side, with no warning. I was trying to cope with it in the middle of the bus station. Just when I thought I had it together, I lost it and started crying. My boyfriend picked up my bag and waited 10 minutes to see if the pain would reduce or go away. When it didn’t, he drove me to the ER.
We waited in the ER for 3 hours, watching a woman who cut off the tip of her thumb, an injured old lady, and several sick people. My parents drove from our home 45 minutes away, so they got there a waited with us for a while.
We got there at 5:00pm and I got a room at around 8:00pm. They did an EKG, Cat Scan, and X-Ray. Asked a ton of questions, hooked me up to an IV drip, checked my blood pressure every few minutes, did a blood test, and a urine test.
At around 11:00pm they told me they couldn’t find anything physically wrong. They determined it was something muscle related.
I took Wednesday (yesterday) off work. I went to work this morning and I am now trying to recover from the pain.
I’m so tired, I’m in so much pain, I don’t feel any better, and in some ways I feel worse. It’s hard to keep my hope up.
I couldn’t be more thankful for my boyfriend. He has been so supportive and comforting. Even though my condition is invisible, he believes me. Which is huge to me. So many people don’t believe Fibromyalgia is real because you can’t see it. It’s hard to interact with people who think I’m looking for sympathy or attention.
If I didn’t have God and my boyfriend I don’t know where I would be right now. I don’t know if I could’ve kept going. I know my current pain will go away; but I have to somehow come to terms with the pain that will never go away.
That’s all for now.